When it comes time to selling our house, I click my heels together 3 times and turn into Martha Stewart. I race around in my preppy shirt and apron organizing and labeling my closets, decluttering the house and Swiffering the floors within an inch of their lives. I plant Wisteria along the front walk way, fold the toilet paper into nifty points, create a fire hazard in the foyer with Glade scented candles and cover the dust on the coffee table with great coffee table books (like Slippery When Wet!-shameless plug ;). I would sum myself up at this point as: INSANE.
When my sanity returns, I find every bath towel in our home is rolled up into logs, unused soaps adorn our sinks, tubs and shower and a lovely bottle of White Star Champagne sits beside 2 fluted glasses next to my soaking tub. In short, my home makes me look like a lush who doesn't use soap!
I have fake fruit in a bowl on the kitchen counter, fake plants on top of every available surface and my bed has disappeared under a pile of oversize pillows.
When buyers come through to view our home, the glass tables sparkle, the linens are ironed and the Pillsbury Dough Boy is snoring peacefully on top of freshly backed rolls next to the oven.
When my boys come home from the mall, Mark exclaims, "Mom, can we live here?"
The house sells quickly and I begin packing. I call this "Operation Shock and Awe!" I wrap everything we own in newspaper and stack it into boxes. Soon, I have created a fantastic maze through our home. My boys set about selling tickets to the maze to the neighbors' children to pay for the pizzas we are now eating for breakfast, lunch and dinner.